The Retiree

Scene: Department of Angels, Guardian Division, Chief Inspector General's office. A secretary opened the Chief Inspector's door.

“Guardian Angel Flo is here and wants to talk.”

“Flo. Let's see.” The Chief clicked his mouse and brought Flo up on his computer screen. “She's in that Maple Lake group. That's the same one Gordy is in. He had quite a time, I recall. I saw on the daily report that his charge is in the hospital again. Well, send her in.”

Flo entered and took a seat by the Chief's desk. “Hi, Chief. Thanks for seeing me on short notice.”

“I try to help, Flo. What's the problem?”

“I've been through the mill lately,” she said, doffing her halo. “I think you need to reorganize the Maple Lake group.”

“Reorganize? What for?”

“I've been talking to Gordy, and we've both had a lot of activity.”

The Chief looked at Flo's record on his screen. “I see you're back from a vacation. You should be raring to go.”

“Yeah, I went to Pamplona, Spain, just in time for the running of the bulls. Instead of a vacation, I got involved with a lot of crazy Spaniards. Trampling, goring, stuff like that. And now Carol.”

“Sorry, Flo. Comes with the territory. But what about Carol? Which Carol? Seems like all the women on the lake are named Carol.”

“The one married to that Irishman,” said Flo. “Fitting, with the Irish around that town. You might remember him. The runaway lawnmower guy.”

“Oh, yes. That was exciting. But what happened to Carol?”

“Quite a lot over the years. Dog knocked her down, metal body parts, stuff like that. This time, a car accident. She hit a ditch, then ran into a driveway berm or something, and tried to get her SUV airborne. Those things don't fly well. No wings. Nosed into the dirt. Busted her up. It was just too much for me to handle.”

“She made it, though. You can take consolation in that.”

“Thanks. But what I'd like is reorganization. That Maple Lake bunch is too much. Motorcycles, ATVs, SUVs, power boats, hunting dogs, ice plunges, ultra-lights—too many toys. Could you break up the territory? Include a few accountants and librarians. Give us a chance. We try hard, you know.”

“It's a busy world, Flo,” the Chief said. “But I'll take your suggestion to heart. I could put the Buffalo area code in with that town, give you South Haven—nothing much happens there—but it'll take some thought. I can't do this gerrymandering alone. I'll call a meeting. Meanwhile, you'd better get back to the rehab unit. Carol's got lots of healing to do.”

“Thanks, Chief. I appreciate whatever you can do.” Flo got up, donned her halo, tipped it at a jaunty angle, and walked out the door.

The Chief made entries in Flo's record, then brought up Gordy's computer file. He shook his head, made a few notes, and thought what a good move he made when he took the promotion to Inspector General.