The Retiree: June 4, 2014


This is the time of the year when I pay particular attention to Neighbor, since there is a very good likelihood that his bringing out lake things will result in someone getting wet. Unfortunately, this year, he put his dock and pontoon boat in while we were in the Big City. He left a few pallets missing from the dock and I hoped someone would fall in. Nothing happened.
I skipped a couple exercise classes and, as a replacement exercise, I levered my dock into the water with a post from an old dock. The work was even more tiring than class, and afforded me the opportunity to see someone get wet. Me.
I have a long history of falling into lakes. It started in my callow youth while visiting in Texas. Moss got me sliding into a river. Then at Scout Camp, I fell into an icky green pond. Scouts had a tradition of getting really dirty and smelly for a week, so I fit right in.
Once, while water skiing, I tried to remove weeds from the outboard and lost my balance. I dove over the motor. Friend John said, “Why did you dive in?” I had to admit that it was inadvertent and I just tried to make the best of it.
On a wilderness camping trip, while brushing my teeth, I found out how slippery granite becomes when moistened with toothpaste, and slid into the lake. I didn't fall, but my feet were well submerged when I stopped sliding, at the edge of a dropoff.
There were a lot more incidents, but I just wanted to show that I can pick on myself as well as Neighbor, when he hasn't provided me with new episodes.
Back to the dock incident. This was the day to put in the dock and the pontoon boat, using Daughter-in-law and her Tahoe, since my Bronco recently rusted its springs off. My exercise routine was going well. I selected just the right combination of concrete blocks to support the end of the wheeled section. The job was nearly complete. I didn't notice one of the discarded blocks behind my feet and I did a back dive into the water. It was a nice dive. Neighbor would have given me a 7 on it. Wife wondered how she'd get me out if I didn't float. It was shallow, so my cap stayed dry.
After my hot shower, we retrieved the boat from its shed, took it to the beach, launched it and it wouldn't start. We took it in for repairs, and came home. That happens almost every year.
A day shot without achieving my goal. And one more soaking to add to my lake history.