By Dorothy Rosby:
I’m trying a new approach to New Year’s resolutions this year. Instead of worrying about everything I’d like to change about myself, I’m going to focus on what I’d like to change about everyone else. In other words, this year I’m making New Year’s resolutions for other people. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. It’s a lot more fun than the old way and I’m sure it will be every bit as effective.
For starters, I hereby resolve that hackers and identity thieves will use their considerable talents to contribute to society by pursuing legal employment. And if they don’t, I resolve that law enforcement officials will track them down and put them behind bars where they’ll be forced to listen to robo calls all day, every day for the rest of their sorry lives. And I resolve that spammers will stop spamming, scammers will stop scamming and litterers will stop littering. And I resolve that those who spit their gum on the sidewalk will be the ones who step on it later.
To read the rest of Dorothy’s column with her humorous approach to New Year’s resolutions, pick up a copy of the Messenger today!