By Dorothy Rosby
I was leaving a parking lot when I saw a man jump out of his car, wave his arms, shake his fists and rant at a woman in a car that had nearly collided with his. Given the particulars of the near miss, it’s hard to say whose fault it would have been had they connected, but I can tell you whose side I would have taken. The guy was—and I mean no disrespect whatsoever when I say this—a bad-tempered, ill-mannered meathead. I rolled down my window and asked as gently as I could, “A little cranky, are we?”
No, I didn’t do that. Instead I decided to channel my dismay at the incident into educating grouches everywhere that the proper time for public displays of grumpiness is October 15th and only October 15th. That’s National Grouch Day, a day set aside to honor everyone’s favorite grouch, Oscar from “Sesame Street,” and to celebrate, or at least tolerate, all the grouches we know, possibly including…well…us.
If there’s a grump in your life, allow them to be as irritable as they want to be on October 15. Say nothing while they whine, complain and generally wallow in their misery all day long. But come October 16, tell them you and everyone else are sick and tired of it so they ought to just knock it off right now. That should cheer them up.
If it doesn’t—and it might not—try the following tips I found on that font of all wisdom, the internet.
1) Gently explain to the grump that exercise causes our body’s natural pharmacy to release endorphins which are associated with feelings of happiness. Tell him he should take a long walk…off a short pier. Then say, “Haha! I’m joking! Isn’t it great? Laughter helps cure crabbiness too.”
2) Give her a stick of gum. Apparently the repetitive action of chewing gum can be soothing. If that doesn’t do the trick, offer her a chew toy.