
By Dorothy Rosby
I made just one New Year’s resolution for 2024. I resolved that this will be the year I finally accept myself as I am. I figure it’s about time. Plus I’m hoping it will make some other resolutions unnecessary.
I went to my usual source for guidance, wisdom and time-wasting drivel—the internet—and found several articles about self-acceptance. You may find what I learned helpful. But remember, if it were easy, we’d all have done it by now. All the articles had some variation of the advice to let go of the things we can’t change. Or at least the things we can’t change without major surgery. I added that part because for me letting go of the things I can’t change means accepting that I’ll never have a flat stomach.
Letting go sounds effortless, like blowing dandelion seeds into your neighbor’s yard. But it’s not easy. Just when I think I’ve let go of my flat abs dream I see a Peloton commercial or a 21-year-old in a midriff top. Then I lie right down and do 50 bicycle crunches. Or at least I lie down and think about it. One of the articles I read said that if we’re to accept ourselves we must come to terms with our limitations. That’s not easy either. I’ve been trying to accept my seasonal allergies for years. And my inability to say no to chocolate. And the fact that I can’t stay up past 10 o’clock if I want anyone to like me the next day. Apparently other people have limitations too.
Maybe the hardest part of self-acceptance is practicing self-compassion. Being kind to yourself means resting, eating right and exercising. I do those last two pretty well, at least for a short time after I see a Peloton commercial.
But it also means speaking as kindly to yourself as you do to your friends and that’s harder. None of my friends would stick around if I said to them what I’ve already said to myself today: A first grader could fold clothes better than you do. And when was the last time you dusted? 1980? And you lazy slug! If you put off finishing your column any longer, you’ll have to call it “How to Be Your Own Best Friend in 2025.”