By Jim Studer
“What’s in a name?” Romeo asks Juliet. He suggests that names mean nothing. “That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.” I beg to differ with the Bard of Avon.
Let’s take the case of Robert Carter Serbis. All things legal bear his full name: birth certificate, driver’s and marriage license, property deed, finally his death certificate, all official, formal. However, his parents called him Bob as did his friends, class and teammates. Those who use the formal Robert didn’t really know him or did it as a form of harassment. Almost all of his teachers eventually used the same informal name, a more personal name. Now his grandma and his aunts used an endearing Bobby. These names suggested a personal rather than a formal relationship. Of course when any of these people censored the boy, they often used his formal name calling out the string of all three; Robert Carter Serbis.
As the lad grew older his moniker, still informal but less personal, became Serbis. Classmates, coworkers, teammates, bosses, some teachers and acquaintances just called him Serbis. After he became a teacher, he was still called Serbis by some of his students. When their relationship turned from the formal mister to a friendlier, impersonal Serbis; tone of voice made the difference.
When certain students showed disrespect, they would use his surname to his face; again the tone of voice was the determining factor. Even more disrespectful was when they called him by the personal Bob. This form of insult is often used by underlings when addressing a superior in rank. Use of the personal can be an extremely impersonal insult.
Bob once thought about becoming a priest or a monk. He would then have acquired a title of Father of Friar. He contemplated medicine, law and politics. He then would have been addressed as Doctor, Esquire or Senator Serbis. Titles are a formal affair. Use of the title demonstrated respect. Of course, if Bob earned such titles, people could show disrespect by omitting the title when addressing or referring to him.
Along the way his relatives and friends dubbed him with a nickname. Coming from these people nicknames were endearing and more personal. He may have been called Cart or Serby derived from his names, or he may have been dubbed with such names for his interests, skills or habits, Glove because he was a good infielder, Rocks because he collected agates, or Cheeseburger because he always ordered one when he ate out. The use of friendly or endearing nicknames presented a conundrum for those who were not so personally connected. When does one have the right to use a nickname? Can mere acquaintances use them? The nickname may also be used as a weapon. Bob, as a teacher, often heard that students and even colleagues who wished to show disrespect used insulting monikers.